Aobacake
by LheraWryts
Summary: Uh... WELL THEN. The Aobacake is a popular thing now, so... LET'S JUST SAY THAT THIS IS A TOTAL CRACKFIC, AND THE FIRST CHAPTER STARTS WITH TRIP. YEAH. RATING MAY GO UP FOR LATER CHAPPIES.
1. Chapter 1

((Don't. Even. Ask. Consider this as a total crackfic.))

Trip looked over at his table.

He saw a variety of cake on it, as usual.

But what caught his eye...

Was a special cake.

It had two pink jellybeans for lips. Tons of blue icing of two or three shades for clothing and hair, and bananas for headphones. White icing did finishing touches.

But this cookie. It was a very sexy cookie.

Because it depicted the hot yaoi master, of all hot yaoi mastahs.

AOBA.

Trip inched closer to the cake.

He held it in his palm.

And then,

OMNOMNOMNOMNOM GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE NOMNOMNOM GULP

It was tasty.

Trip licked the icing of of his hands.

His job was done.

Now to get the REAL Aoba to make more of these...

((SEE WHAT I MEAN?

WTH TRIP WTH))


	2. Chapter 2-Koujaku Wake Up Cake

_**Chapter 2- Koujaku's WakeUp Cake**_

((I don't understand WHY you would read this fanfic, but hey, it was your choice _ prepare your an*s for some more DMMD crack!))

Koujaku was sitting upright in his bed.

His eyes were larger than the Aobooty.

"That. Was. The. Weirdest. Thing. Ever."

He was shirtless, and there were traces of blue on his torso, and mouth.

Next to him, lay a large thing.

Its two pink jellybean lips were a bit crooked from all the kissing. Some of it was smudged, as it was on or in Koujaku, due to screwing around. Its eyes resembled googly-eyes you find in craft stores. It just stared up at the ceiling, like a fish out of water.

This thing was a cake.

More importantly,

It looked like Aoba.

It was the

_**Aobacake.**_

((Sorry not sorry. Bye~!))


	3. Chapter 3-Mizuki

**_Chappie 3-_**** Mizuki**

It was on a Monday (groan) hot summer evening where Mizuki was closing his tattoo shop. He was putting everything back in its place.

"Needles here, sanitary wipes here, ink here, extra large purple vibrator here..."

But then.

Right then and there.

It was in the corner of his shop.

The shady corner of his shop.

It's googly black frosting eyes seductively stared back at him. He could only look back.

Those pink jellybean lips were puckered at him.

That crooked Aobooty in cake form was flat against the wall.

The shades of blue frosting suited him perfectly...

And then he rubbed his eyes.

"What the heck was I seeing?" He shook his head. Maybe he needed another cup of Swiss Miss hot choco...

Locking the door of his shop, he didn't see the blob of icing staring after him that was plastered against the window.


	4. Chapter 4-FemMink

_**Chappie 4-**_** FemMink**

It had been a tough day of shady business. Scratch had to keep up with demands of being a classic Rib team, and Mink hardly ever had time for herself. Heck, her ratchet weave that she always had to spend so much time keeping up was even starting to sag. Letting it down, she fell back on her couch, stretching herself all over the area of it, kicking her boots off in the meantime.

And while she was at it, she rummaged through her blankets, and finally found her favourite cinnamon-flavoured choco bar, half of it saved for situations like these. Laying on her bed, she thought about deals she needed to make while letting the cinnamon give power to her thoughts. Letting her mind wander, she didn't notice a small shadow coming up closer to her, it's presence ominous, but not enough for Mink to notice.

However, her Coil started to ring, bringing her out of a cinnamon-trance.

_"Imma boss ass bitch, bitch BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BI-"_ She immediately groaned at the ringtone, and pulled the phone to her ear. "Trip, I thought we would save this discussion for tomorrow afternoon. No, I am not leaving my house tonight. No, not even for some cinnabons. And-" she stopped talking. "I'll call you back, later." She put her phone down, and let her cold blue eyes stare at the thing that surprised her so suddenly.

Two pink jellybean lips made a sort of fish-face. Blue icing was smeared to make details of hair, as well as a coat on a beige cake canvas. Icing eyes finished the image of what appeared to be an entity resembling Aoba Seragaki. Taking out her contacts, revealing golden eyes, Mink sighed.

"Well, have a seat. You should've knocked before coming in." And so, the Aobacake sat on a small jewelry box Mink had on her table, while she went to the kitchen to boil some almond milk- which would obviously have cinnamon in it, no duh.

Moments later, she returned, mug in hand, putting it in front of the Aobacake. Naturally, it did not drink the liquid. She sat on the opposite end of the table, staring intently at the personified cake.

"You have a special aura of death surrounding your presence..."

Silence.

"It's very similar to the scent of my own aura."

Silence.

"But even though you may be a cake, your soul is still somewhere in your head..." She stared into his icing eyes a bit more deeply, and the Aobacake started to quiver a bit. Before it sprinted away, Mink pulled out a small butterknife, and used her hand to hold down the cake, using her hand with the knife to be slightly overhead the white icing neck of the petrified baked good.

"I'm afraid you're not going anywhere. I hope your soul reaches Heaven." And then she brought down the butterknife. The Aobacake had felt nothing.

She decapitated the cake, and ate it for dinner, along with her cooled almond milk. Licking the icing off her fingers, she gave a small smile at a job well-done, and headed off to bed.


	5. Chapter 5- Charles Dearest

_**Chappie 5- The Original Character**_

((This OC is based on an individual that I used to know.

And OCs are great for crack fics. And crack fics are great for cheering up friends.

You're hella welcome.))

"Ugh, I so should've been put as football team captain..." Dearest Charles was changing out of his American Football gear, complaining under his breath to himself. He was alone to his thoughts, so he ended up ranting out loud. After all, there was usually nothing better to do in the boonies of upstate New York than pick on other people for getting the accomplishment that you yourself had not gotten. Thankfully, he was alone, so no one was listening.

Or so he thought.

Just as he was pulling his hoodie over his head, he felt... a certain presence of something... Ominous. He thought he saw a shadow behind him, but quickly brushed it off. After all, Halloween horror stories from Creepypasta websites were being thrown around on his bus that he took to commute to school everyday, and the apparition was probably just getting to him.

But then he heard a THUD.

And when he turned around, his life changed forever.

The locker behind him was open.

And in it, was a cake. But it was not just ANY cake. Ohhhhh no.

This cake was in the shape of Aoba Seragaki's Aobooty. The large, blue, bulbous cheeks stared at our Dearest Charles in extreme lust, and Charles Dearest felt a warmth rise in his cheeks that he never, ever, felt before. Not even with the hottest chicks in his grade. His mouth ran dry, and he was left speechless at the magnificence that was a blue cake in the shape of an ass. No, in the shape of the ass of a hot yaoi mastah that was always said to be fictional. Utterly fictional.

The Aobacake then levitated, and slowly glided until it was face-to-face with the now lovestruck brunette. A sexy song started playing in the background- no doubt it was one of the perverted melodies that Coach (coughcough pervert) D would play in his free time, but never admit to listening to(- even though he was a pervert, that coach).

The Aobacake slowly came in closer, and Charles Dearest started to close his eyes slowly.

Closer...

Closer...

_** PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!**_

He felt something moist on his face. And immediately Charles Dearest opened his eyes to find that blue icing had exploded everywhere, cake staining his clothes. But the encounter that had occurred was too fresh in his mind for him to feel angry about the frosting stains.

In his heart, he knew that they'd meet again.

He just knew it.


End file.
